


No Longer - A Short YuJae Fanfic

by areualbright



Category: NCT (Band), Nctzen
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26873434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areualbright/pseuds/areualbright
Summary: Yuta wants to break up. Jaehyun doesn't.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta
Kudos: 43





	No Longer - A Short YuJae Fanfic

“Jaehyun, let’s break up.”

Yuta said as he stirred his coffee. Jaehyun stiffened where he stood--as if a heavy weight was dropped on his shoulders. He slowly made his way to the counter where Yuta was sitting.

Yuta looked serious. Not once did he look at his partner who was now sitting directly in front of him. He scrunched his nose and furrowed his brows.

“I don’t want to.” Jaehyun finally answered. They have been together for three years, and he didn’t want everything to go down the drain just like that.

“I’m serious, Jae. Let’s break up.” Yuta was looking at Jaehyun now. His eyes which once looked at his adoringly, are now filled with sorrow and pain.

He knew this day was going to happen, but he didn’t think it would be today. The day of their third anniversary.

_The man who does not love you_   
_Sometimes I've always been envy to him_   
_The words that are out from me, who is crying beside you_   
_Are only it's okay, everything is alright_

“I’m tired. Honestly. I’m really tired.” Yuta’s voice was weaker now, pleading almost. As if asking for someone to end his suffering already. _“_ And I know you’re tired too, Jae. You’re tired of me. The only reason you’re staying with me is because... we have come this far. And you’re scared that you might not find someone else after me.”

“No, I’m not. What made you think that way? I stay because I love you.” Jaehyun tried to convince the older. But none of his words seemed to convince his boyfriend now.

“You love me?” Yuta scoffed.

“Is that why you don’t look at me when we talk anymore? Why you find me annoying and tell me to shut up when I get excited about something? Why you don’t tell me about your day anymore? Is that why you’ve been shutting me out for the past few months? Because you love me?”

Tears were flowing down Yuta’s eyes. He was reminded of all those sleepless nights; when he chose to sleep in the living room because Jaehyun didn't like it when he asks for a hug before bed. Images of Jaehyun smiling to his phone one second, the switching to a straight face once he talks to his boyfriend. All of those little things that changed haunted Yuta every day, and he couldn't bear it anymore. 

"You changed, Jaehyun. This is not the Jaehyun I know." Pause. Yuta breathed in, so deep that when he breathed out, more tears came out of his eyes. He rubbed his trembling palms against his legs before continuing. 

_"_ The Jaehyun I knew used to look at me as if I was the only person in the world. He would cook me my favorite Japanese food when I tell him that I miss home. He would tuck me in bed and not let go of me until we both fall asleep. My Jaehyun was warm, he never shut me out coldly like what you're doing now. I want that Jaehyun, not this."

It was at that moment that Jaehyun came back to his senses. Yuta was right. He did change, but he was scared to admit it. It wasn't like it was something he wanted to happen--it just did.

Yuta used to be his sunshine. His smile warmed his once cold heart, and for a moment there, Jaehyun really thought that they were endgame. If only his thoughts were stronger than his feelings, he would still believe it. But that wasn't the case anymore.

"I'm sorry.." Jaehyun started, his voice was hushed and almost quivering. "Maybe you're right. I'm tired. We're both tired. I didn't want this to happen, Yuta. I really didn't. But can't we work on it together? I promise I'll try harder." 

_You've broken the gap in the middle of this season  
Without any sound  
Do not take a break  
Stay here for always_

Yuta reached out for Jaehyun's free hand and rubbed it gently with his thumb.

 _"_ I wish we could, Jae. But I think we both need time for ourselves." The older let go of the younger's hand. Breaking up was the last thing Yuta wanted to do. He loved Jaehyun with all his life. He was his home away from home, his comfort from all the loneliness that surrounded him as he made his way through life in a foreign country. 

He tried to fight for it--with endless attempts of winning Jaehyun's heart back. He fought hard until he couldn't anymore.

"If we're really meant to be, we'll see each other again." Those words struck Jaehyun like lightning. It was really happening. Yuta was finally giving up, he was waving the white flag. It scared him, because no matter how much he took the older for granted, he still couldn't imagine going home to an empty house. Jaehyun was so used to Yuta being there, that the thought of losing him left a hollow feeling in his chest.

"Can't I make you change your mind? I know I screwed up, I don't have any excuse for that. But I can't imagine my life without you. Yuta. I really can't."

Jaehyun was paler than usual. He looked at his partner intently, his eyes turning into puddles. He wanted to hold Yuta, but somehow couldn't find the courage to do so.

_He no longer needs me_   
_And the more I want you_   
_My reality is getting heavy_   
_I guess everything will be difficult_

"This might sound selfish, but I have to put myself first this time. I've spent so many days trying to be your person that I forgot I was my person too. I don't want to hurt myself anymore, Jaehyun. And I don't want to hurt you. You have to be kind to yourself too."

 ** _"But this is already hurting me."_** Jaehyun thought at the back of his mind. He couldn't say it, of course. He thought he didn't have the right. Yuta was kind enough not to blame him for anything. To tell him to be kind to himself. Jaehyun let his head drop and cried like he hasn't done so in the last three years. Just like Yuta, Jaehyun has kept so much inside of him for the longest time. All the guilt, the regrets. There was no one else, he only loved Yuta. But he lost himself in the process. He hurt the man he loved the most, but now the same man no longer needs him.

_My impatient confession_   
_Nevertheless, I can't take it anymore_   
_I just want to run to you now_   
_Because all of my moments_   
_Want you._

"I guess I really have no choice then." Jaehyun spoke, admitting his defeat. "I'm scared that we might not see each other again. I'm scared that you might not come back to me Yuta. What if our fates lead us to other people after this?"

"Then I guess we just have to accept the fact that we're not meant for each other."

\-------------------

It has been hours since the saddest breakfast Jaehyun and Yuta shared. After that conversation, Yuta asked Jaehyun if he could have some time alone. Jaehyun obliged, convinced that a little time to himself would change Yuta's mind. But he was wrong.

Jaehyun left the house and went to his studio. He distracted himself by making music, producing what were the saddest sounds and lyrics he never thought was possible.

When he came back home, Yuta was gone.

The room they used to share was half empty, the bed neatly made as if it was never shared by two people.

There was only one toothbrush left in the glass that used to carry two.

There was only one pair of slippers left on the mat near the bathroom door.

The clothes in what used to be an overflowing closet barely filled the spaces anymore.

Yuta was gone, and it didn't sink in until Jaehyun saw a familiar ring on the bedside table. 

Jaehyun slowly made his way to where the ring was, and picked it up hesitantly. It was the ring he gave Yuta on their first anniversary. Jaehyun was still wearing his, he never took it off. 

Underneath the ring was a piece of paper with Yuta's handwriting on it.

Jaehyun contemplated whether to read it or not, and he was glad that he did. 

_"Jaehyun,_

_It's a shame that we're spending our third year together this way. But I know that this is what's best for both of us. I left my ring with you, and I'm still hoping that I could wear it again someday. I love you always._

_Yuta"_


End file.
